Soul ties, and breaking free. 


What is a soul tie? And do we all have one?

Well yes, and no..

A soul tie is somebody with whom we share a deep emotional, and/or spiritual connection with. A soul tie can even be tied accidentally, in the case of physical intimacy, where ones energy refuses to be called back after merging with another.
Everybody has at one point in their lives been tied to a soul yes, but not everybody necessarily has a soul tie, as this term is mostly reserved for those who cannot seem to break free of their connection with another soul, no matter what they do, no matter how hard they try. This obsession can even take over their lives completely, resulting in them obsessively day dreaming about this person, and putting their own health at risk, at the expense of pining over them.
There is nothing remotely romantic, nor spiritual about…

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Learn to speak up

Hi Guys! It’s been awhile. Whew! I hope all is well with you all!

So let’s catch up! Dating right. Still a drag I can honestly admit lol. But I had learned one thing over this last year is to speak up. People like me hate to make others uncomfortable. We rather be uncomfortable than those around of us. Well let me tell you one thing that shit sucks. Let me talk to my Cancers, listen love bugs… yes we are these sensitive nurturing creatures that want to take care of those around us all the time. That’s all fine and dandy, but pay attention! Learn to weave out those draining parasites that suck you dry. You know those ones who love to take everything you offer, but so supposedly so screwed up they don’t know how to reciprocate. Man, eff that! People know exactly what they are doing. And yes I won’t take away from those people who are legit screwed up and having a hard time, but there’s a difference! What’s the difference, you say?! It’s obvious! Those who try and there are those that just don’t give a damn. Cut them loose.

Speak up and say what you want! Who gives a shit that it makes the person squirm and uncomfortable. If they not ready or that’s not what they want let them RUN! It helps the both of you. And most importantly you will feel comfortable and you would know exactly what you are dealing with. This is short and sweet. I need to get back in the groove of writing since it’s been awhile. I’m pretty sure you will be hearing a lot from me.

As always continue to love yourself- Madam Peach

 

Forever my weakness

Here I go. I opened up the door that I once closed. I closed that door for several reasons. But here I go!

I opened it and peeked through. Wondering if the same person I completely fell in love with was standing behind the door. Come to my surprise it was someone who resemble everything I use to want. So when I heard his voice it sent chills down my spine. Could it really be him? I constantly wondered. Never even consider if it was just the devil in disguised. Blindfolded and dumbfounded there I stood. I let your voice lead me. I seemed to have left my brain at the door. Silly me. I’m honestly so ashamed. I could remember everything little thing that emotionally crushed me, but after it was all to late.

Now you’re here. As we sit face to face. Do I begin the conversation of where have you been?! Or no, whose the girl who has your heart now? No, No I don’t want to know, as I think to myself. You’re here, please just tell me all the things that I want to hear. Just tell me you miss me and you made a mistake. That you’re willing to fix it and make things right. Boost my pride and increase my confidence. Just for once make me feel good. Make me feel like I am one in a million. Remember I never had that feeling?

What’s this you say? Did you hear my thoughts? Why are you coming this close to me? Please don’t touch me. Please don’t kiss me. I can’t believe I have no control over my body. My mouth is saying no you don’t deserve me. But I’m breaking out in sweats. I’m trying to fight it, but I just can’t fight hard enough. Oh no you just kissed me. You have no idea how much I miss sucking on your bottom lip. Just smelling your scent is so intoxicating. You’re on top of me… I’m uncontrollably wet. I just had an orgasm just from your presence. So what’s next? My voice that was first stern has now turned seductive. I’m sucking and biting your lip, oh how much I missed this. You lift me on your lap and tell me you’re sorry. I’ve been waiting for two years for you say that. Literally music to my ears. I said it back with tears falling this time. I knew I shut down and left you hanging. I’m sorry for never voicing my opinion. Wait, what are you sorry for? Oh man, was it something to say to get me to melt. I’m sitting here hugging you cause of how much I love you. I don’t want to let you go. Yet you are kissing me. Are you feeling the way I feel?

Sigh, now you are laying me back down. Telling me you have other places to kiss. Why am I not saying no any more. I know you only got one thing on your mind. I’m no fool. But instead I’m just laying there. Watching you remove my pants and unbutton my blouse. Feeling your hands roam across my now naked body. Mentally cussing myself, but physically enjoying your touch. Completing succumbing into temptation as I received most intimate kiss… between my thighs. Hearing my  moans get louder and louder as you lick in all the right places. We move from the bed to the floor. Kissing, grabbing while you talk your shit. I’m sashaying my hips to the speed of your grind. Hoping you love every minute of this moment we are sharing.

I’m all in now… I’m all in now thinking to myself.  The way you handle my body is just so convincing. You took your time and made sure I enjoyed every single bit of it. I mean you really wouldn’t make slow love to someone you don’t care about, right? It’s time that I leave. I’m feeling so good about this moment. Everything I wanted is back, I think.

To be continue…0d6903324b453beaf5118ff45970d573

Always…. But not me

Whenever someone is having relationship issues I’m always the person they ask for advice from. I’m always encouraging people to speak up and express their feelings. I mean go after what you love. Fight for it.

I’m always the understanding one. I understand you made a mistake. I understand that you’re not in love. I understand that you aren’t ready for a relationship. I understand that then you were not ready for love, but years later you are now. I understand… I understand.

I’m always the one that guys say “You aren’t like the rest of these girls, you’re cool”. I’m the “home-girl”. I’m the girl you come to when the girl you like doesn’t want you. Or when your heart is broken. The girl you could hang out with or invite around your friends. Even hang out with your family.  But i’m just the friend.

I’m always the one you compare other girls to. She doesn’t cook like me. She doesn’t bring excitement like me. Or she doesn’t support you the way I do. She’s not a fun person like me. You trust me with your secrets. You confide in me.

I am ALWAYS the girl who listens to one’s cry and genuinely cares. I will tell you you deserve better. You can always count on me. There to hold your hand. I mean I got your back. And even mention your name in my nightly prayers.

BUT…..

I cannot pinpoint why I have yet to find someone who is crazy for me. Every guy I get they hold me near their heart, but I’m never the girl of their dreams. I have life long friendships. They are willing to be around me forever, but never commit. I am so pro love. I think love is such a beautiful thing. I get so happy to see my friends and family in love and getting married. I literally tear at other’s happiness. What a beautiful thing to see.

BUT…..

I’m afraid that I’m going to start believing that love is not for me. I’m never that girl or the one. I’m just never it. I tell you one thing I know…it hurts me to even type this.

Cherish your love- Madam Peach.

The hardest thing to do

When I first met you, you was just there. Just like the million guys who are just there. Never thought twice about getting to know you inside out. But when I finally did I was happy I made that choice. You were so beautiful to me.  You just had a way with you. I came crying to you first about my first real heartbreak. While you were wiping my tears you were going through the same thing as me. Crazy how we connected through a breakup situation. What a perfect guy you were. You were being my friend especially at the time I needed the most. You restored trust and love into me. So eventually I fell for you. To me that was the dumbest thing I could do. I remember in February 2012 I finally decided to tell you how much I was in love with you. Oh my goodness that was a terrifying thing for me. You didn’t even say you felt that the same. That hurt like hell but I kept falling for you. We became best of friends. Or maybe should I say friends with benefits? We occasionally came together and had our laughs here and there. Couple of years later we begin to play with this idea of love. I think we define the love we had for each other differently. Here I was crazy falling for you and I don’t know if your love was loving me like a sister. I still think I loved you more than you loved me.

Enough was enough. It wasn’t my idea of love so I had to walk away. I really sat there and prayed you actually did love me and came running after me. You finally did months later. Months after I finally realized what I wanted in a committed relationship. You tried and you didn’t give up on me which I thank you for. I honestly tried to make it work with you as friends but it was hard for me. You took my feelings for granted. Am I suppose to smile and pretend it’s okay? I can’t. I’m finally letting you go completely. Don’t reach out to me as I won’t reach to you. Congratulations on your marriage, your first born, and all you firsts. I’ll genuinely be happy for you. I’m finally washing my hands clean of you even though this will be the hardest thing to do.

Can I ask a question?

Tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that love is a special thing. I know it’s very rare for it to be an instant thing. BUT! Should it take years for a man to admit that they are in love with me?  WAIT! Let me rephrase that. Should it take years for a man to say he’s READY to fall in love with me? Do I not deserve the time of getting to know someone who doesn’t make me wait? Or I’m crazy to think that love is an instant thing? Is love really a choice? Or like they say… you can’t help who you love? Let me just ask this. When is the time I actually realize that this was meant to be? I mean God sent. God made this man exactly for me.  Am I just dreaming or this can be an actual thing? I’m so torn that I’m starting to believe I don’t know a thing. A thing about love. If I’ll ever have it. Or if I even know that I have it when it’s in my face. Is it normal to be this AFRAID ????

She was an addict

High, she was so high. She craved for that feeling every second. Couldn’t live without it. She dreamed about it every night. Oh my, it was so potent in her system that it consumed her daily thoughts. It was such a incredible thing to see. To see a person so incredibly high on something that was clearly damaging her. But she couldn’t get enough. She refused to let it go because she live for that idea, that high. So sad. She started searching for it in the wrong places. Hoping that anybody can just give her something for her fix. She settled so much and took anything she could get. It was ruining her. I could see her changing right before my eyes. I wish you could had seen her without it. If she didn’t have just a little dose…man, what a mess she could be. I remember her crying and shaking profusely. All I kept thinking was, I wish I could help her. I always tell her how beautiful she is and she will be fine. It’s just never enough. Never enough when it comes from just me. That high gave her the validation that she needs. I wish she realized she had the power. Power to hold over until things happen the way it was meant to be. One day I hope she gets the help she needs.

What a sad thing to see. I think the most saddest thing about it, I think she’s easily tricked into believing she has her drug. Although, she never felt the effects of having it in her system. She was just in love with the idea. Seeing people infected from it she thought it was beautiful. So she kept searching for it. And prayed that she had someone to give her that high feeling she’s been yearning for… since forever.
I’m sure you all heard of that drug… I think it goes by the name of “love”?
I never had it. Can you explain how it works?